What's Up

Well, I guess it might be time for an update on the life and times of Kaitlin. So here goes:

1) I am no longer planning on moving to San Diego at this point in time. Maybe someday. Just not today. Or tomorrow.

2) My bestest friend ever Jenny is moving to Omaha in 12 days. I am so stoked. Seriously. Stoked.

3) I am working solely at the Scooter's Coffeehouse on 120th and Blondo. I love it! I'm happy here and have no plans to quit in the near future. It is possible that I will get another job in addition, but nothing has really come up yet.

4) I am debating about going back to school. I have a major in mind. But I'm going to think about it for a while before making any decisions. I really want to make sure that this is what I want to do before I go back to school for it. (I'm not telling until I make the final decision. Sorry.) Plus, I would like to make a good dent in my student loans before I take out more student loans.

5) Living situation still rocks. They decorated my room with balloons and streamers for my birthday. :)

6) I am now 22. Years. OLD. :( For some reason this seems like a rather large number. Like, when I was 5 and heard that someone was 22, I was like, "whoa". I know it's not old. But it's the oldest I've ever been.

Finally--I read this the other day and really liked it, so I'm sharing it with all of you.

"I'm building the world myself, and putting new hats on everybody, one by one...Before I go out I'm gonna have people in tutus, cops wearing sombreros, stockbrokers with viking hats, priests with panties on their heads. In the world I'm building, everybody shouts hello to everybody else from their car windows. People have speakers attached to their chests that pour out music so you can tell from a distance what mood they're in, and they won't be too chicken to get naked when the rain comes."
-from "Let Me Stand Alone: The Journals of Rachel Corrie" but I read it inside my new Jason Mraz CD.

:)

Favor

So I was on craigslist the other day, looking at random jobs and came across a part-time, temporary nanny gig that I am actually interested in. This couple has twins due in March and wants someone to help out overnight for the first few months because they also have a toddler. Talked to her on the phone last night and she seems pretty cool. She would like to talk to some references...

If I have ever watched your children before, would you mind commenting on this if you would be willing to talk to a complete stranger about me? That'd be great. The sooner you could let me know, the better. And if you don't let me know sooner, I'll probably be emailing you anyway...so this will save time. :) Thanks!

Concert at Scooter's

This computer is really hard to type on since it's so tiny, and I did something to the typing on the last post and couldn't figure out how to fix it, so sorry if you can't read it. :) It appears that all is good now.

Consider this your official invitation to a concert at my Scooter's. (120th & Blondo) It's an acoustic show, part of a series contest. It is December 12th at 7pm...should be a good time. John Klemmensen will be here, I assume playing a guitar and singing, and it's at the best Scooter's in town, so it's a win-win situation. :) See you then!

Ｗｏｗ

Ｉ　ａｍ　ｓｏｒｒｙ．　Ｓｅｒｉｏｕｓｌｙ．　Ｍｙ　ｂａｄ．　Ｂｕｔ　Ｉ　ｇｏｔ　ａ　ｎｅｗ　ｌａｐｔｏｐ　ｎｏｗ　ｆｏｒ　ｍｙ　ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ，　ｓｏ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｂｌｏｇｇｉｎｇ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｂｅ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｒｅｇｕｌａｒ．　Ｉｆ　ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｉｓ　ａｎｙｏｎｅ　ｌｅｆｔ　ｒｅａｄｉｎｇ　ｉｔ．　Ａｎｄ　ｉｆ　ｎｏｔ．．．ｗｅｌｌ，　Ｉ　ｇｕｅｓｓ　ｉｔ’ｓ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｇｏｎｎａ　ｓｅｒｖｅ　ａｓ　ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ　ｊｏｕｒｎａｌ　ｆｏｒ　ｍｅ．　Ｗｈａｔｅｖｅｒ．　：）

Ｈｏｗｅｖｅｒ，　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ａｌｌ　ｆｏｒ　ｎｏｗ．　Ｉ’ｍ　ｔｉｒｅｄ　ａｎｄ　ｗａｎｔ　ｔｏ　ｇｏ　ｈｏｍｅ．　Ｉ’ｌｌ　ｂｅ　ｂａｃｋ　ｓｏｏｎ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ．　Ｉ　ｐｒｏｍｉｓｅ．

Ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕ　ａｌｌ，
Ｋａｉｔｌｉｎ

SORRY!!!

Keep cool, my babies. I have returned.

I am sorry I stink at blogging. But currently my life is consumed with working and planning for work and doing things related to work and thinking about work and dreaming about work (or...nightmaring about work). No really--I had a dream that I couldn't move the pot of milk from the steamer and it was overflowing and burning my hands but I couldn't get it out. And another night there was a Breve involved. That's all I want to say about that. Bad news.

Anywho...answers to all of the requests, because ya'll have been so patient with me. (Or NOT patient. Get off my butt about it already Jennica...)

1)THE USE OF THE WORD CONFUSED AND ITS RELATION TO CONFUCIOUS, WHO WAS PROBABLY HARDLY EVER CONFUSED ABOUT ANYTHING.
--It's because of other people getting confused about who was actually departing the wisdom. That is why all of his quotations begin with the phrase, "Confucious say..." It's to clarify for all the other idiots.

2)OVEN CLEANER
Really? This could get interesting. Or be incredibly boring...we'll have to see what happens. Um..oven cleaner? Who thought of that stuff anyway? And why can't it be used to clean other things too? I mean, is the oven made out of some sort of special material that nothing else in the world is made out of and so it needs its own special cleaner? Or is it just that these other objects just don't need to be cleaned? And really...who needs oven cleaner? I say that the government bans oven cleaner in an effort to get Americans to focus more attention on not being so dang clumsy. How else does an oven get dirty? It only gets touched by the pans unless you drop something into it.
That's all I got. Weak.

3)SAN DIEGO. CLIMBING. AND THE COMBINATION OF CLIMBING IN SAN DIEGO...WITH ME (JENNY HUSCHER)!
Um...frick yeah! I recently decided that the moving to San Diego thing is actually really going to happen at some point in the next year. (Sorry mom...) I'm not exactly thrilled with my job and I don't see the potential for growth that I thought might be there when I first started. I need a change. New faces, new places. And living with my best friend never seemed like such a bad idea. So as soon as the timing is right and God gives me the go-ahead...I'm so there!! (And if you're just talking about our vacation to San Diego THIS WEEKEND, well...I'm so there! Duh...we already got the plane tickets. I'm stoked. San Diego. Jenny. Climbing. Love it. And not in that order.)

4)WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE LIVING WITH THE BOYDS
Well...once I got used to the whole walking around naked thing...and I do think the cage they keep Will in is a little small...and I'm still waiting to find out what they're like when they're sober...

KIDDING! I'm almost hesitant to actually post that because I don't want anyone to think it's true. Almost. :)Um...yeah. One more time, all together now: I was kidding. I wonder how long it will be before they find out about this and I hear about it. I'll just hope that the internet at the house is down for...ever. Heh heh...
Obviously I was totally kidding. I absolutely love living with them. I have no incriminating things to say about them. They care about where I go and what I do and they notice when I'm home and want to know how my day went. They genuinely care about how I am doing. And I get to live with a family again! This is exciting for me. I like having people around even if we're not talking or hanging out. Just the fact that someone else is there is comforting. They are very encouraging people and I am extremely grateful for them. I could write a lot more about their amazingness, but Scooter's closes in 15 minutes and I haven't done a single thing. So I'm going to be here even later...
I'm not exaggerating about the work thing either. To prove that:
Wednesday - 6:30am-noon at one store, 1:30pm-5:30 at another store. My parents here after that (YAY! pillow top mattress!! I'm stoked...) then Cari and Brielle over for dinner.
Thursday - 8:45am-2:30 at one store, 4:30pm-9pm at another store. Then Melissa will be using me for my distance to the airport.
Friday - 8:45am-1:30pm at one store, driving to Lincoln to pick up Jenny, driving back to O-Town to babysit overnight.

But then...SAN DI-FREAKING-EGO. YESSSSS!!!! I'm slightly excited.

Now I only have ten minutes to close. Crap....


That's all. More suggestions? I'll try to make sure it isn't a whole month before I post again...
Peace out my homies.

The Rock

I'm ALWAYS at Regency so whenever ANYONE wants to come visit...:)

um....oh yeah--I'm tabling all of the suggestions of things to write about for now cuz I thought of one on my own (sort of) and I'll forget it unless I write about it now.

I went rock climbing today for the second time. The last time I climbed, I could not get up this one route no matter how hard I tried and to be honest and uncensored(ish) - it pissed me off. I'm serious. I dreamt about it forever out of that. And I've really been looking forward to coming back to Lincoln (where I'm blogging from now--dork) and getting up that route. (The purple route.) So I FREAKING GOT IT TODAY. Thank you very much. It took me forever and I kept getting mad at Jenny because she kept giving me slack and I didn't want slack but FINALLY I got it. All praise will be accepted.

I reallly love climbing. And there's a lot of good thoughts that come to you when you're hanging by your fingertips off of a plastic rock ten feet up in the air. You can learn a lot about life from climbing. Like that fact that you can't move up unless you let go and be unstable first. And if you don't move up, you're stuck. And the more it hurts, the better it feels when you've conquered it.

This has not been a fun week. Just because. But I have some new favorite people because of it.

And I freaking love the family I live with. Yup.

Keep the suggestions coming cuz I'll write about every single one of them. I promise.

That was fun...

Wow--I wasn't expecting people to actually guess. I guess when there's a prize involve then people aren't afraid to admit they read this...

:)

Jenny was closest. I served 40 that day. (For a reference: that's 4 an hour. Other stores average at least 200 a day.) But thank you for appreciating the fact that I was bored out of my mind.

So Jenny---whatcha want? And when would you like to have it?

Something new for people to comment on...you can do this anonymously if you'd like...since my life consists of coffee and work and working with coffee, I'm running out of topics...I'm now taking requests. Anything you'd like to know my thoughts on? :)

Today

Today....where do I even start? Guess what? It doesn't matter where I start, because I did the same thing for 10 hours. I worked at the Regency store from open-close. 9-6. Which sounds longer than 8:30-6:30, which is how long I was actually there, but that doesn't make any sense.

I should note that I read almost an entire book today. That book is entitled "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" and it is quite possibly my new favorite. If I were to write a book, that is the style in which I would write it. Because it is written exactly in the style that I write in. Follow? Cool.

So I think I finally figured out the music that's played at the mall when the pianist isn't there. For the longest time, I just didn't understand the selection, but today as soon as I heard the Backstreet Boys, it all just clicked. The rich, snooty people who shop at this mall (by the way--possible Warren Buffett sighting today. Not joking.) anyway--they don't want to hear the music that is popular right now. Frankly, I believe they would take offense to the fact that Katy Perry kissed a girl, wouldn't understand why Leona Lewis doesn't do something about that bleeding love, and they could freak out that we've only got four minutes to save the world. (I surely hope that we wouldn't leave that up to Justin Timberlake and Madonna...) So the mall plays music that make them think that they are hip without offending them. Backstreet Boys, old Janet Jackson, some classical thrown in there for those aristocratic wannabes (I have a strict belief that you cannot be an aristocrat and live in Nebraska at the same time.)

Another interesting thing I observed today (yes, in relation to my day--this was interesting...): Someone left a ten dollar bill on the piano. No one played the piano today (I know this because I was there the ENTIRE day). It was sitting there for a good 2 hours. Everyone who walked by it saw it. They all looked around and found someone looking at them. They all left it there. Either they are all very polite or they are all very proud. The security guard picked it up right around 6.

Free coffee to the person who guesses how many customers I served in my 10 hours of work.

Did I mention I worked ten hours today? Cuz I did. At the slowest coffeehouse in our chain of coffeehouses. I am still bored...

Regency

I am officially the supervisor of the coffeehouse in Regency Mall. Kind of. I guess that would make it "unofficially".

Regency Mall is the most bizarre mall I've ever been in. Never would I go there to shop...Pottery Barn-Pottery Barn Kids-Borsheims-Ann Taylor---not my kind of place. I can't afford to even window shop there.

Get this--there's a fountain right by the Scooter's. That in combination with the whole coffee thing means that I have to go to the bathroom about fifty seven times a day. And I have about that many heart attacks too, cuz little kids always get money from their parents to throw into it and about half of them almost fall and their parents aren't paying any attention. It's so funny--either they're not paying attention, or they look reeeeeeeeallly exicited for their kid once they see the change hit the water. There is also a piano player right by me. Makes me miss Jenny. But he's really funny. And he doesn't bring any sheet music with him or anything. Just plays. Today it started off with "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton, then went into something from "Annie" and then "Phantom of the Opera" with a little Elton wrapped in there, and then ended with Clapton again. It was beautiful.

So I have come to realize that I like people in relation to how old they are. (This is true for most people--friends and family don't count. They're not people. They're friends and family. You see the difference?) This means that I like kids and then the older they get, the less I like them. So I pretty much abhor old people. I'm totally serious here...but I promise this gets better and to the point quickly. Okay...it doesn't really get better. I was just gonna say that this old guy that I was sure I was gonna hate today (ordered a double espresso and a chocolate biscotti. espresso---no milk, no flavoring, nothing...tastes something like mud.) asked me my name. Not one for small talk, I did my best not to act as annoyed as I was (for some reason I was annoyed...don't know so don't ask) but then I felt like a dumb-head cuz this is the conversation that followed:
Old Guy: What's your name? (he had a really thick accent by the way. Don't know what kind though. Quite possibly German)
Me: Kaitlin
Old Guy: Kaitlin?
Me: Kaitlin
Old Guy: Nice name. Nice person. *kind and genuine smile* *walks away*

I'm kind of a jerk sometimes.

Trophy Wives and Crickets

Mom--I hope you're reading this.

I killed a cricket today. All by myself. Yep.

Okay...so I sprayed it with Raid and Mindy came and picked it up. But I still worked up the nerve to get close to it in under an hour. Haha...I was totally going to pick it up myself...eventually...heh.

So the other day at work (the coffeeshop--I'm a nanny no more) this old guy told me I was pretty. I was like, okay--compliment--whatever. That's nice. But then he just kind of kept going. Trying to make the most out of a potentially creepy situation, I'll just say--if nothing else works out, at least I know that being a trophy wife is an option. He was driving a convertible. (Is that spelled right?) KIDDING. But it's nice to know that I have options...

Hopefully, though, I won't need those options. I have landed a career as the manager of a coffee shop. Not the one I'm currently an employee of, but one of them in the chain. I have to shadow for a month first, which means a pretty tight budget (especially since I had to buy a new phone today...), but once that month is over and I have officially learned "the ropes" as they say, I'll be the boss. Can you even imagine...? I'm a little nervous...

I think I overuse the "..."

...sorry. =)

Lincoln tomorrow! I'm gonna chill with Melissa for a while and then climbing with Jenny! So stoked...
I think I'm going to try to ride my bike to Scooter's tomorrow morning...it's like 4.5 miles each way. But I haven't gotten to ride it yet. We'll see what time I can get my lazy butt out of bed.

Confession--I miss the kids. Really. Even though they drove me crazy. They made me laugh a lot. And they're so dang cute.

Anyway. Tired. Sleep...

For Those Who Care

I'm staying in Omaha.

I'm moving into the Boyd's basement.

I have job interviews for some 9-5ers.

I might go to school.

For journalism.

I might not. 

I don't know how long this will last.

I still am planning on living in San Diego in January with Jenny.

That is all. I think. 

I worked 71 hours this week. I'm kind of past the point of thinking.

I Like This Song

"Incomplete"

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
And never done

One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid 
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Random

So I've been running lots of errands lately, spending a lot of time in my car, in parking lots, and with various store clerks. Here are the thoughts that have drizzled my brain...

1) Why do clerks always feel the need to talk to me about my life? I never ever did. Not that I don't care about people, cuz I do. I just don't find it necessary. I'm not much for small talk I guess.

2) ALWAYS park close to a cart coral. Various reasons, including: not having to walk all the way across the parking lot to put your cart away, narrows down the number of spaces you could have possibly parked in. I don't know how many times I have lost my car in a parking lot. This one time around Christmas, I was at Westroads and I was walking around trying to find my car and this SUV was following me the whole time. Finally, she rolled down her window and asked if I was going to my car and could she have my space. I said, "sure, as soon as I find it..." But I've gotten lost in parking lots enough times that it wasn't even too embarrassing.

3) I am a good driver. As long as you look at the number of times I've avoided an accident and not the number of times I've almost caused one.

4) The only songs on the radio are "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis, "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay, and "I Kissed a Girl" by Katie Perry. Therefore, I change the station every third song.

5) In the car with the radio off is a great place to think. It was in the car that I though of (a)some good ideas for the book that my sister and I are writing, including character names and a very important piece of the plot. I cannot divulge that information, however, so you will just have to wait until it is published. It is also when I came up with (b)several different scenarios that will lead the direction of my own life story. I will not divulge that information until I have a set plan. Sorry.

6) When I'm in a hurry, there is always a slow semi in front of me. Always. When I'm not in a hurry, there's no one else on the road and I get there early. Always.

Okay...time to continue the packing process. (That gives a little teaser to #5(b). But the real question is...where am I moving?? If you know the answer, fill me in please!) Haha

Genius

I just took an online IQ test, which probably isn't reliable, but nonetheless--I scored a 134 and feel the need to gloat a little tiny bit.

If only there was a space for that on job applications...

Art for Sale

Okay...the first of I'm sure many "for sale" posts. I'm purging my apartment and packing (even though I don't know exactly where I'm going yet) so I'm getting rid of stuff. The way it will work is, you email me to let me know what you want and how much you want to pay for it. It goes to the first reasonable offer. Lowest price I'd accept is in parentheses. If you need my email address, then comment on this, otherwise, please email.

Here it goes...

#1 - Multi-canvas Piece. 9 total canvases. (24x30; 14x14; 30x9  3/4; 12x12; 2 1/2x3 1/2; 10x10; 2-3x3; 10x8) You would need approx. wall space of 60" x 40". I used a label maker to write out the first 2 verses of the Kelly Clarkson song "Sober" on red and orange label tape. Completed 2008. ($75)

#2  The sketch that inspired #1. 8x4 3/4. Pencil on sketch paper. ($1 :) Unsigned.

#3 American Flag Drawing. Completed my junior year of high school (2/2004) and won me some pretty sweet ribbons. Ha. 11x16, pencil on paper. It's the American Flag with some dried roses on top. It took me forever...cross-hatch technique. Glare is from the plastic, which can be removed. It's not that good...($10)

#4 "Angrilily". This one actually has a title. Did it when I was mad about something. Took 10 minutes, but it's one of the few that I actually like. 16x20 acrylic on canvas. Completed 9/2007 ($20)

I'm getting really bored of doing this, so I'll do more later. 

Rachel the Roommate

My roommate, Rachel, almost cut her finger off today. She was de-pitting an avocado with a blunt knife while holding it in her hand, and apparently forgot that her last name isn't "Ray", so she chopped herself. And I'm only saying that because she said it first. But I think it hurt worse than she was letting on. I almost fainted.

By the way...doors in Lincoln are closing. Doors in Omaha are opening. You do the math. I still don't know...but I'm leaning. 

Leaning into an open door probably isn't smart...

Fortune Cookie

So if I was having second thoughts about moving to Lincoln, I wouldn't be anymore because I just happened to get a relevant fortune in my last fortune cookie.

"You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily."

Yeah. I know. Freaky.

And it is true, if you think about it. It's even true if you don't think about it. But I'm going to force you to think about it by continuing the thought, and because I'm such a great writer, you won't be able to stop reading here  and you'll follow me.

How can you really get good and settled unless you've been unsettled first? How do you know if something is right unless you've had some wrongs? Hm?

Yeah. Relevant.

Completely unrelated--as I'm looking at the stuff I have to pack, I have some paintings that I need to sell. Interested? I can send pics. I also have a ton of blank canvases that I wouldn't mind not packing if you have any requests. I love requests.

I'm playing soccer mom all week. Literally. I hate it. I hate soccer and I hate keeping 4 kids outside for 3 hours and then home to take naps so they can get up for something else by 4:30. Doesn't really work very well. I totally crashed today. Okay...venting over. I wonder if they read this. I wonder if I care. 

Nope.

:)

I love dreams. Last night I had the best one ever. I don't remember a lot of the details, but it makes me happy every time I think about it. 

Two of my good friends and I were at a bank. Only it wasn't really a bank--you know how dreams are: you say something is something, but it looks nothing like it--and we found out that there was going to be a robbery because we were being all CSI-like...doing some investigating. So we set up this plan where we would be taken hostage and then we make the robber think we were on her side and then overtake her. There was a lot more to it, but I was really sad when I woke up. I like how I'm smart in my dreams...

Except the whole sugar-free escalator thing...that's a result of working too many hours at the coffee shop.

Latest obsession: type "So You Think You Can Dance Bleeding Love" into YouTube and watch Chelsie and Mark. Wow. Chills. 

Favorite song of the week: "Dancing" by Elisa.

I don't even like to dance.

This post is...how do you say...RANDOM.

I need a job in Lincoln.

Knot Know

Geez Kaitlin...learn how to say no.

I was totally going to vent about how I'm going to be staying at my job for SIX weeks instead of the FOUR weeks notice I oh-so-generously gave them, but then I realized that in that opening sentence I actually wrote: "Geez Kaitlin...learn how to say know". Does that imply that I'm telling myself that I'm dumb? Like, I don't know how to say "know", so obviously I must not "know" anything.

MAN-I should leave a post up here without editing it. I just really like the letter "k" tonight. I just wrote that I must "knot" "know" anything.

That, my friends, is how frustrated I am. I do knot no anything.

I'ma quit whilst I am...ahead?

Hmph

I gave my notice today. And I cried the whole way home. More attached than I thought.

It doesn't help that they were gone all of last week so the kids kept telling me they missed me. The 3-year-old was so determined to "be good for [me] the whole day" that he put on his own socks. It took him 20 minutes and the heels were on top, but it was sooo cute.

Anyway...that's all I have to say right now. If I wasn't so sure about this move, I'd be second-guessing it. And to be clear--it's not the job. It's the fact that all my friends are in Lincoln, I have family in Lincoln, cost of living is less, I'll be making more...living in Omaha just doesn't make much sense anymore. That's all. August 1 is my last day of work. I'm sure I'll be rather emotional up until then. If they weren't such NICE people and such CUTE kids...

What I Learned on My Summer Vacation

I had a whole week off from nannying. I filled it with plans to see friends and family, as well as picking up some shifts at Scooters. The first real summer vacation I've had for a few years. So...here's what I learned:

1) I get bored really easily.

2) When I watch a movie by myself, it is either "Breakfast at Tiffany's", "Finding Neverland", or "Steal Magnolias". Everything else requires company.

3) I invest way to much time into my job. Five 12-hour days a week are devoted to a family I only met a couple months ago. That's 60 hours a week, from the time I leave my house to the time I get home. To do it long-term would be unrealistic.

4) I am happiest when I've had at least a couple of hours of good, quality alone time. Just me, Dr. Pepper, and Harry Potter.

5) It doesn't matter how many lists I make, my day never goes according to plan.

6) When someone (like a landlord) doesn't meet my expectations, I get mean. And words just sort of fall out of my mouth...

7) I miss living in the same town as my close friends.

8) I miss working in an office.

9) I do not agree with the lifestyle of having lots of children and expecting someone else to dedicate half of their day to raising them. They mistakenly call me "mom" way too often. Therefore, I am not comfortable with the job that I hold and need to find something new.

10) Omaha is no longer the right place for me to be. It doesn't make sense and I'm not happy. So I'm moving to Lincoln the first weekend of August. Thus begins my having to give the good ol' 2-weeks notice. And job interviews in Lincoln.

I'm psyched.

Neighbors

The following is an absolutely true story. I can't make  this stuff up, folks.

Last Friday, as you all probably know, there was a crazy storm in Omaha. About five minutes before it got really bad, the sirens went off. I looked outside and it was completely calm, so Rachel and I kept the TV on, but didn't think much of it. (We've never gone in the basement for a storm before. I'm usually out on the deck taking pictures of lightening.)

Anyway, about five minutes later, we look outside and it was just scary looking.  The tree in our parking lot was pretty much horizontal. So we decide, "Hey...don't really feel like risking death today. Let's check out the party in the basement."

Before I go further, I should explain that our apartment building consists of us, and about a dozen elderly, old, retired ladies.

We get downstairs  and there are the two ladies that live directly across the hall from us. They are the Chandler and Joey to our Rachel and Monica. (Friends? Anyone?) The one lady says, "Oh, are you our neighbors? Nice to meet you." (We meet her every day.) And then...this might be too much for some of you...it was too much for me...she said, "I didn't have time  to put on a bra."

Rachel and I immediately looked away from her and stared at each other, not even knowing what facial expressions we should have. So for  the next ten minutes, Rachel and I are on one end of the hallway, and everyone else is at the other end.

And then the lights go off. The rest of this would make a great scene in a movie. A HORROR movie.

The bra neighbor comes back over and stands by us for a second and says, "I can't see my shoes." I don't know if she didn't have them on and couldn't find them or if it was just so dark she couldn't see them...but she stood there for a while staring  at  us. In a dark, dank hallway. It doesn't sound scary, I know, but YOU WEREN'T THERE!

Needless to say...we went back upstairs. I'd rather be sucked into a tornado than be trapped in a hallway with scary elderly folk.

TOMORROW

Have you ever had to explain the concept of "tomorrow"?

...to a 4-year-old?

It goes something like this:

"Is today tomorrow?"

"No, tomorrow is tomorrow."

"But mommy said we're going here tomorrow and we're going today,  so isn't today tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow always changes. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. But today has new tomorrow."

*silence*

**long silence**

"Did that not make sense?"

"No."

"It doesn't make sense to me anymore either. Want some ice cream?"

Camping

I get to go camping this weekend with my best friend. I'm pretty excited. I need a vacation. It's been a rough week. But then all I have is next week and then a whole week of no work. Well...I'll be working at Scooter's a few days...but that's not really work.

Anywho...I need to shower and go to bed. I'm taking them to the Children's Museum tomorrow, so I need energy. Lots and lots and lots of energy.

I have a dream

Er...I had a dream. Last night.

So I was taking the oldest of the kids I watch to school and before we left his mom said that we needed to stop and get his friend a gift card at the mall because they had forgotten to do it earlier. We're running late though, so I tell him to just  stay in the car and I'll run in and get it. (I would never do that.) So I go into the mall and I'm trying to find this store in this mall that my brain has obviously made up because I've never seen it before. 

Anyway, so I'm walking along and I hear these girls behind me talking about how they loved my outfit. So I turn around and of course--it's Alicia Keys and two of her stylists. They love my outfit. So I play it cool and pretend that I didn't hear them, but I'm definitely walking more confidently. (Dude...Alicia Keys complimented my outfit....) But I'm running late and suddenly I realize that leaving a six-year-old in a parking lot by himself probably wasn't smart and I rush off to find this store so I can get the gift card and go.

I can't find the store, I can't find the store...I get to the escalator and these two kids are messing around on it and before the escalator operator (like that's a real job) can tell them to stop, it experiences a power failure. But I need to go up this escalator so I ask when it's going to start again and she tells me it will be twenty minutes. And in a demonic voice I yell, "TWENTY MINUTES???" She calmly tells me yes and the only other sugar-free escalators are all the way across the mall. (Yes...sugar-free.)

This is a huge problem because Alicia Keys complimented my outfit, so I obviously need to use a sugar-free escalator. A regular, fully sweetened escalator just would not do. So I run across the mall, frantic because of the escalator and the gift card and the six-year-old I left in the car, and I hear...

"...and it breaks my he-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-art." --which is the Regina Spektor song that is my ringtone on my phone.....aaaand the alarm that I set so I actually get out of bed in the morning.

Yes, this story ends with the infamous "..and then I woke up."

Cheers,

Kaitie

Sorry...sort of

I'd probably update more if I thought people were reading it. Sheesh. Foo

The 4 year old got stuck in his winter hat yesterday. Nothing sobers a child more than the thought of being stuck inside a felt jester-hat for the rest of his life. As he struggled to try to untie it and then resorted to trying to just pull his head out, neither of which worked, I laughed so hard I was almost crying. When he finally calmed down and realized that I was laughing at him, he laughed too. Which made me laugh even harder because by this time it was covering his eyes and the rest of his face was bright red.

These kids are funny. However...kids who have everything miss out on so much. That's deep. Go ahead and dwell. But it makes me sad. They shouldn't be forced to use their imaginations. Anyway...that's all I've got for today.

American Idol

I have called the winner from the first "real" week of performances (top 12) for the last 7 years. I really thought that would end tonight; I was worried. But somehow Cook did it. Hooray! My theory is that I think Simon actually overpraised Archuleta on purpose to motivate more people to vote for Cook.

Anywho...

Near-Death Experience

For all those who have said that the spider won't kill me...fie on you.

I was driving along, minding my own business when out of nowhere, a fat, wolf-looking spider creeps along my dashboard. I screamed, swerved, and narrowly missed a semi.  I almost died today because of a freaking spider.

No one else I know sees spiders as often as I do. It's like they know...

Business Trip

I'm going to be in Miami from Tuesday until Saturday night. It's for work. Yeah, that's right. It's my job to make sure that the kids have fun on the beach.

You can start being jealous...now. =)

My Future

So for quite a long time, I have been contemplating what I really want to do. Obviously, I don' want to be a nanny for the rest of my life. And I don't enjoy living without any goals. So without further ado, here's what sounds good for right now and the story of how I got there.

My sister says I am a do-gooder. That is true, so I asked myself why. For one thing, I am overly empathetic. When someone else's heart hurts, mine does too. Not something I am doing myself, I was just born that way.

So I care about people's hearts. Not just when they hurt, but all the time. I don't feel like I know someone until I know where their heart is. That's why I like kids so much. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and they tell you exactly what they're thinking. But unfortunately, that is unacceptable as an adult, so there's guesswork involved...but I digress.

I want to help people's hearts. If I go back to school, I promised myself two things: 1) I have to know exactly what I want to do, and focus on it. 2) It has to lead to an occupation that will make paying off my (so far) $70,000 in loans plus whatever else I rack up. Also, I DO NOT want to be in school right now. 

So I have come to the conclusion that if I am not married or close to it by August of the year I'm 25, I am going back to school...medical school. To be a cardiovascular surgeon. I want to fix people's hearts without hurting my own. I know not every patient will make it, but I'm hoping I'm good at it and the odds won't be against me... And I think I could be good at it. I have pretty steady hands from being an artist. I don't get queasy from blood anymore...

Whatcha think?

Work and Illness

Today was a good day. That's not really saying much...I didn't do a whole lot...

So yesterday I went home from work not feeling too hot. Then when I got to their house today, the mom asked how I was feeling and I was still not too hot. So she took the boys to the zoo and I stayed home with the baby all day. I don't think she realizes how much I appreciated that. Hands down the best family to work for.

PLUS-the 4-year-old who has previously asked me why I keep coming back to their house and would I just go away told me he loved me today. And he had to give me a hug before he took his nap. I think it's because I played catch with him outside and kept catching the ball with my bare hand and not the glove, which he thought was cool. And we've been building paper airplanes on days when we don't have too many problems. Yes, it's bribery. But it works.

FYI, I'm feeling a ton better now. I was just really really congested and then today had tons of pressure in my head--so much so that my ears kept popping. Reealllly annoying and made me (even more) uncoordinated. But not "sick" sick...nothing involuntarily coming out of me or anything, so nothing to worry about (mom). =) And with that mental picture for you...goodnight!!

PS--To the girls from Lincoln coming to my apartment on Saturday--I'm sooooooo excited for the painting party!!! I said it on my blog, so it must be true.

PPS--It seems like a lot of the books I've read lately have come from authors who got their start from being discovered on their blog. *Fingers crossed* Obviously, not Toni Morrison, but others. (I'm still in disbelief from the Borders chick, by the way. How did she get through high school?)

Lost Dialogue

Kaitlin: I am looking for a book and I can't seem to find it.

Borders employee (BE): Sure, what are you looking for?

Kaitlin: Toni Morrison 

BE: Um, is that the title or the author or what? 

Kaitlin (growing skeptical of why she is working at a bookstore): Uh...author. 

BE: (types "Tony Morrisen") 

Kaitlin: I think it's spelled with an "i" and the last name is "...son". 

BE: Oh. (retypes) Is it his latest book? 

Kaitlin: (growing skepticism) No, it's not her latest. It's called "Sula". 

BE: (starts leading me to the gay/lesbian section) 

Kaitlin: I doubt it's here. She's a pretty well-known African American author. 

BE: Oh, is it in classic literature then? 

Kaitlin: (past the point of tolerance) You're the one who works here... (I spot the African American Literature section) Looks like the section it'd be in is right over there. Thanks for your help.  

Now, don't take me as a book-snob. I don't expect everyone to know who Toni Morrison is, but for Pete's sake, if you work at a book store, you should at least be aware of the standards! It's like working at a music store and not knowing what a guitar is used for...ugh.

Invisible Children

Okay, so this is kind of about Africa. And FYI, I am listening to the string quartet version of "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. =)

I know that I already ended the job hunt with this nannying job. And the nannying job is going so-so. It's getting better everyday. I am still in the stage of dreading getting there after my 35-minute drive, but once I'm there I'm fine.

Today the 4-year old told me he didn't like me and wasn't going to do anything I told him to do. So I told him that it's okay that  he doesn't like me, it's okay that he feels like that, but I liked him very much and it hurts my feelings when he says that, and he is not allowed to say mean things that hurt people's feelings. And then I told him that if he continued with the attitude, I'd squeeze the dishsoap in his mouth. And guess what? He didn't get soap in his mouth.

That might sound harsh, but if I'm going to be there long-term, he is not going to talk to me like that and he's going to learn to respect me. But that's really the only problem I've really encountered. The 5-year-old seems to be warming up to me fairly well, even though he was the one I was warned would have the hardest time. And the other two are too little to realize what's going on.

However, there is a chance I will not be there long-term. A fairly good-sized chance, actually. There's this job that I really want. It's the Executive Assistant to the CEO of Invisible Children. I am highly unqualified, have no real experience in a fast-paced business environment, and the job is in San Diego, but in my letter of intent, I will include a sentence something along the lines of "I dare you to find someone who will do a better job than me." There's more to go with that, but I'm just banking on the fact that they are big into creativity and aren't really a

 conventional "business-place", so hopefully they can overlook that and see that I would do a good job. And it's Invisible Children...can we say "dream job"??

And you know, even if that doesn't happen, I am thinking that in January, I will move to either San Diego or Chicago. And I have a business degree...I shouldn't have too hard of a time finding a job, even if it's not my dream job. I need a new city. One with a bigger art scene. So there ya go.

This is the Invisible Children Bracelet Campaign Headquarters in Uganda. That pile of black things are the bracelets that they make. It's an incredible idea creating jobs for the people there, and awareness for the people here. Want one, or want to learn more about the bracelet campaign? Click here.

Spider Saga Update

FYI - I sprayed it with Raid. It ran. I slept on the futon even though there was no way it stood a chance.

Rachel came and vacuumed up its dead carcass when got home. I screamed when I saw it (yes, it was dead)...

So there you go. End of story. 

The first one is taken from about 5 feet away (the closest I got) with super zoom. The second one Rach took when she finally found it. eck--I shudder every time I look at these pictures. Sick.

Just wanted to prove it was real. 

I have to get up in 4.5 hours. I worked for 12 hours today cuz I stayed late. I'm so tired I can't sleep. I've never gotten gas at 5am before...new adventure every day. Rambling...as I sit here listening to Paramore as a string quartet. Slightly obsessed.

What?!?!

I just want you all to know that I just discovered string quartet versions of most of my favorite songs. How incredible is that? I am freaking out here...

Okay, not really...but if I ever get married, I'm totally walking down the aisle to the string quartet version of Alicia Keys "No One". You know you want to be there. And that makes more sense than the string quartet version of Carrie Underwood "Before He Cheats" or string quartet Guns 'N Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine"...yeah. Plain White T's "Hey There, Delilah"...they have it. "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers. Everything by Switchfoot and Kelly Clarkson. No Lifehouse, but that would be asking way too much.

My life is complete. I am stoked.

Along Came a Spider

Once again...not about Africa.

As I sit here typing this, there is a spider sitting about 10 feet away from me, staring me in the face. 

If you don't know me, you don't know that my biggest fear of all time is spiders. It's pathetic. The last time I was alone in my apartment with a spider, I stayed the night at a hotel. Seriously.

The wispy ones, I can usually deal with. After a couple hours of pep talks from all the friends that I typically call to talk me through it, I can spray it with my Raid (which was an apartment warming gift from my mom) and then vacuum it up with the expanded hose and the tool that makes it a little longer.

But the spider currently taunting me is an evil, devil-looking solid spider. It's not huge, but it's not small. And if I spray it with Raid, it will move. If there's one thing that I hate worse than spiders, it's spiders that are moving. 

I guess I could just go straight for the vacuum. Except, then it could survive the suction and still be alive inside the vacuum and I can't live in the same place as that. And I'd probably drop the hose and freak out anyway, which would cause the spider to move.

None of my Omaha friends are actually in Omaha right now. And it's 11pm, so I really can't call any of my acquaintances. See, one of the (many) perks of having a roommate has been that she kills the bugs for me. But she's not here...

I just called my best friend Jenny in Lincoln. I told her there was a spider in my bedroom. And she proved once again that there is a reason she is my best friend. She took me totally seriously and said that I should get everything I need out of my bedroom and then put pillows under the crack in the door and sleep on the couch. We talked about the possibility of me putting a tupperware on top of it until my friend Josh comes back tomorrow, but she pointed out that I would never be able to get that close. I'm screwed.

I think it just moved.

And what makes the situation more crappy: I was painting when I saw it, and in the .0004 seconds I went from sitting on the floor to standing ten feet away, I dropped my paintbrush. 1) Stained the carpet. 2) Ruined a perfectly good paintbrush cuz the paint's gonna dry before I can get that close to it again 3) Ruined a perfectly good canvas cuz I wasn't finished with what I was doing and once it dries, it will never blend the same.

Sooo...if anyone reading this happens to be from the Omaha area and wouldn't mind a phone call from a crying Kaitlin in the middle of the night asking you to come kill a spider, please let me know. And don't be surprised when I take you up on it.

I hate spiders.

Pants on Fire

This is not about Africa. I have to dig out my journal for that and I'm far too tired. 5:30 is early in the morning.

Just a quick thought: transitions are hard. It's like an infinite line of dominoes and you push the middle two in opposite directions. Don't know where to look. But then again...sure, the middle two are falling apart; but all the other ones are falling together. So really, when it feels like things are falling apart, it's just that other things are falling together. Right? Always another domino ready to catch the previous one...

That was deep. Blows my mind.

But today was good. The 4-year-old hit me, so I made him put his nose in the corner. An hour later, he told me he loved me. Kids are great.

Hardest job I've ever had. But I think I'll like it.

That is all. I'll work on the Africa post for next time. Promise.

Kaitie

Ugh..

I worked at all three jobs today.

I think that's all I really need to say about that.

So...I was working at the church today and I had to show the new office manager some of the stuff that I do...and I struggled to not cry. Somehow I got very attached to my choir folders...

...Somehow I got very attached to that job. I didn't think it was going to be hard for me to leave for some reason. But it is. I've been there for about a year and a half. About the same time, I quit going to school at Creighton and moved to Lincoln because I didn't really have anywhere else to go, and believe it or not, I commuted for an hour each way to work at the church for 10 hours a week. For about a month, that job was really the only thing I had going for me. I actually lost money to work there, because gas is not cheap and I didn't have my fuel-efficient car yet.

And then when I got fired by the crazy lady that I'm not bitter about at all...literally, right after...I went to the church because it was safe and comfortable. And I am pretty sure I vented to Deb for a while.

Which is another thing--I've seen THREE office managers. AND I've been there longer than half the staff. (There's only like, nine, but still...)

And in the last year or so, I've kind of become fond of the people there. I know that the family that I'm nannying for is amazing (their old nanny cries every time she talks about leaving) and it's actually going to challenge me (as opposed to checking my email for 5 out of the 6 hours I'm there) and it's just going to be great. 

But then...I'm leaving a really amazing family too, a few of whom I really trust. I'm not one to trust easily. It took these people about a year and half for me to realize that I trust them. I'm still going to be attending church on Sundays, but it's soooo not the same. And if I'm being honest...that scares the living crap out of me. 

So there ya go...I'm having second thoughts. Not really--it couldn't be more obvious to me that I'm not supposed to be working there anymore, and I'm supposed to be exactly where I'm going. And I've never been okay with the fact that I sit around and don't really do anything very significant. But I don't want to go. Not one bit. Tomorrow (Thursday) is my last day...I'm there for three hours...and then I'm gone. And I'm crying now...already. I'm such a girl...

Brilliant idea: maybe tomorrow I'll post another Africa story. Since that was the purpose of this anyway. And since I've started blogging, I haven't journaled as much, which I don't really like. So be excited...Africa tomorrow. (Or at least the next time I post.)

-K

Speak to Me

I think I have given more speeches in the last month than I have spoken in my whole life.

The school ones really stunk to give, but the church one(s) today went pretty well...I think...? I wasn't in the audience, but from my angle, it went alright.

Anyway...sleep...

Tired and Crabby

So...

Basically...

I have 3 jobs right now.

A week and a half, and it'll just be the one.

But right now, 3.

Sick.

Speaking of which, my best friend Jenny is in the hospital in Omaha. She has Crohn's disease, which is so rare that the spell checker on here doesn't even know that it's a real word. Anyway, it is causing her a lot of pain and it's very very frustrating because there's no cure. So, I'm offering a $1 million dollar reward for the first person who finds a cure. It will be paid in increments of $1/month for the next 83,334 years. So let's just pray that happens. (A cure, that is. Not 83,334 years.)

Goodnight.

Kaitie

Who's Your Nanny

So basically, it went like this...

The wife of the youth pastor at my church called me up a couple days after I asked them to write me a reference letter for a job as a nanny. She said, "Kaitlin, I have this silver platter that happens to hold a really good job you have interest in with a really awesome family. Let me give it to you, along with a reference from me and my parents who this family has a lot of respect for." And I said, "Well, I don't know...let me think about it." 

(Okay, so I paraphrased a tad. But it was something like that. Except my response was something more along the lines of "SERIOUSLY? THAT'S SO AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH!" And can I just say for the record: I kind of really like God. A lot.)

I talked with the mom of the family on the phone a few times. Then on Saturday I went to their house to meet them and their adorable children.

Tonight, she called me and said they'd love to give me a try. =) Considering I have no nannying experience, that's pretty sweet. And way too easy. 

Job search: done. Hooray!

But...now I have to work up the nerve to give my two-weeks notice at two different jobs. At the one job, the people I have to talk to are probably the most intimidating personalities for my personality-type (read: they're confident. I'm not.) And at the other job, she's just going to hate me because we're so short staffed and I'm one of the reliable ones...and she's probably going to ask if I can still work weekends. And let's all say it together: Kaitlin can't say no. Kaitlin is a pushover. SO, I will still have two jobs and I will be working 7 days a week. But at least I'll actually be DOING something...

I'm excited. I forget how much I like change. And I have had pretty much the same schedule for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time:

7am-10am coffee shop

11am-5pm church

5:30pm-10:05pm school (3 days a week)

Yeah. Sick. But SO over. Ha.

And the funny thing is, after making every single important decision that has had any impact on the direction my life has gone compeletely, 100% on impulse, I told myself that this time I was going to take my time. I haven't even finished the exit paperwork for school yet, and I already have a long-term, full-time job. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me, but I really do have a good feeling. Maybe being impulsive is actually a good trait.

Alright...well now I need to try to get some words on paper about my trip to Africa so I can tell everyone at the church about it on Easter Sunday at all three services. I'm not nervous at all...hundreds, possibly thousands of people are going to hear me talk...haha. Actually, if I can make up a speech about how the economy and Apple Inc. affect each other with reference to the annual report that I only just skimmed, I should be able to read off of a piece of paper about something I actually care about. I just can't get the words onto the paper...

...it's like catching fireflies in a jar...you get one, but a couple that you've already caught fly out...

Okay, so no...it's not really like that. I've just got writer's block. By the length of this blog, you'd have no idea.

Speaking of this blog--I have been totally caught of guard many times this week by people who have asked me about something I haven't told them about, but they've read it on here. I'm sorry if this has happened to you...it just startles me. I kind of feel like a celebrity. Only I'm writing my own tabloid. Hmm...that's deep. We'll end on that note.

How did I do it?

4 reasons I was able to COMPLETE EVERYTHING after procrastinating until there were 2 days left:

busy week...

While I procrastinate a little more...at 1:37am...

Thursday I went to Chicago with some friends. I got to hang out for quite a while with an amazing friend I met in Africa who just happens to live in Chicago. It was a great time and I am so thankful to have a friend who I connect with so well after knowing her just a short time. It was really really good. I was not ready to come home.

Then we went to a Missy Higgins concert. I don't expect you to know who that is, but I am still sad that you probably don't. Cuz you should know who that is. To summarize the concert in three sentences: best. concert. ever. =)

Friday I flew home and went to a Keith Urban/Carrie Underwood concert in Omaha. It was really good and I got to hang out with some more awesome friends.

Saturday I attempted to do homework. It did not go well. I have nothing else to say.

Sunday Rachel and I talked to the high schoolers at my church about our trip to Africa. I heard today that we did well. It was pretty cool.

Then we went to a Natalie Grant concert. I'm kind of a big fan of Natalie since senior year of high school. She's a Christian artist, for those who don't know. Anyway, it was cool to see her in concert.

Tonight I had a phone interview with the mom of a family I could potentially nanny for. I'll be going to their house sometime this weekend to meet them and their kids and just check it out. Tres cool. And I applied for tons of jobs today. All kinds of them in all different places. We'll see...

Tomorrow my 30-pager is due. Scary. I'm finishing it right now. Then early tomorrow morning I'll throw together the PowerPoint. And I'll totally improv the 20-minute oral presentation. Not like I haven't done it before---at least I'm going to class knowing there's an oral presentation...Anyway-that's at 4:30-5ish. Then I get to come home and research and write another paper that I haven't started yet. It's due Wednesday at noon. As well a couple chapters worth of homework and two article summaries. I'll be doing 3 oral presentations on Wednesday. At noon. That's a lot of talking for someone who probably doesn't say that many words in a typical day. Which probably explains why people are so surprised that I can whip out a 20 minute speech with no preparation. Someone told me once that I pack a punch. Don't really know what that means, but it's kinda cool.

Anyway, Wednesday at around 1-1:30 pm I'll be able to breathe again. I'm looking forward to it.

More Not-Original Thought...

Good song: "I Stand" by Idina Menzel.

I stand for the power to change.

I live for the perfect day.

I love till it hurts like crazy.

I hope for a hero to save me.

I stand for the strange and lonely.

I believe there's a better place.

I don't know if the sky is heaven, 

but I pray anyway.

perfection

my knee did not hurt today for about 2.57 minutes.

then I got out of bed because I realized I had to be to work at the coffeeshop in 15 minutes.

but it was nice. any longer and I would have taken it for granted. any shorter and I wouldn't have believed it.

perfection.

kaitlin-fact-of-the-day: i don't take compliments well. i can't think of much else that makes me more uncomfortable. except talking about myself. attention...i don't like attention. you might have already known that, but i just figured it out. there you go, that's it. nothing more to see, folks. move along. (stalling...homework...yuck...)

sigh...

Unable to focus. I don't even feel that stressed...

Wish this was me--

(Sudanese village in Uganda.)

Priceless.

school

For all those who have been trying to call me and I've totally ignored you:

-30 page research paper w/ 10 sources

-15-slide PowerPoint presentation

-20 minute oral presentation in front of a board of 5

-2-3 page research paper

-10-slide Powerpoint presentation

-2-3 minute oral presentation in front of my teacher

-Two 2-3 page article summaries w/ oral presentation

-homework questions for 12 chapters

-watch online videos and do corresponding questions

-two take home tests

Due in two weeks.

Now that I've started, I'm not as stressed. I think I'll get it done as long as I stick to my schedule (which I'm doing not to bad on). So for the time being, I am not OVERwhelmed...just whelmed...? But I'm a pushover and can't say no, so if something sounds more fun than doing homework, I'm probably going to do it. And really, everything sounds like more fun. So I'm not answering my phone.

And you should know that on March 15, which is the Saturday after all of this will be done, there's going to be a graduation party for me. Cuz that's what you do when you graduate. I'm not sure the location--probably Scooters--but it'll be cool. And it's not just any old party...it's a Smarties and Nerds Party. Throw in a few dum-dums and we'll be set...so save the date.

Laundry

If there is one chore I hate doing, it's laundry. I absolutely cannot handle letting someone else touch my dirty clothes, so I have to do it, but it's an intense dislike. So much so that today was the first time I've done it since getting back from Africa 3 weeks ago. Yeah. It just takes so much effort:

-Gather up all the dirty clothes, soap, stain spray stuff (cuz I spill on myself frequently), quarters, and dryer sheets

-balance it all in a basket and carry it down three flights of stairs

-spend $1.25 a load (that is $1.25 to wash and then $1.25 to dry... times 14 = $17.50 today.)

-keep an eye on the time so that I can go back down the 3 flights of stairs every time it needs to be changed

-bring everything back to my apt to fold and put away

It just takes a while. And my knees hate me afterward because I have to go up and down 3 flights of stairs (today I did it ten times...), and it's expensive. Especially when you do seven loads in one day. But if I hadn't run out of socks I could have totally gone longer.

Anyway, it reminded me of a funny Africa story. During the second week, the three "Chicago girls" (we flew out of Chicago. I'm sorry, but it's better than the Nebraska girls.) decided to do our laundry. 

Let me tell you, it is a much bigger process in Africa. First you have to fill the sink. Then you squirt soap in and scrub each individual article of clothing, wringing them out as you go. (Why in the world did we decide to wash towels and sweatpants?) This was so hard that I actually wounded myself. Then you have to rinse out the soap and wring them out again. And hang them out to dry. And if you managed to not stretch them out in the process, then you can wear them again. Otherwise, your pants will be a foot longer than they were when you bought them and your t-shirts bulge out in unsuspecting places...

It was seriously the hardest workout I have ever had. I was literally sore for a few days afterward. The people who worked at the place we were staying watched us, tried to help us, and made fun of us the whole time. 

So as much as this post sounded like I was going to complain about having to do laundry...it's not. It's me being thankful for machines.

This picture was toward the end of the hour it took us (at least...) My arms were feeling like jello. But notice the bulging biceps. =)

Hope

I don't have time to write any original thought on here, but I came across this quote yesterday while I was doing a decorating project for my bedroom during a homework break. 

"Ultimately, our gift to the world around us is hope. Not blind hope that pretends everything is fine and refuses to acknowledge how things are. But the kind of hope that comes from staring pain and suffering right in the eyes and refusing to believe that this is all there is." -Rob Bell

Sometimes when you stare pain and suffering right in the eyes, it smiles back..

Babies Orphanage

I hear you sing softly to me: I can be the wall when you fall down. Find me on the rocks when you break down. I heard it in the song when you call out. But I gotta say now it’s gotta change. This is my broken heart. This is my bleeding start. This is the way I’ve come to know you. This is my winding road. This is my way back home. This is the narrow door you know I will walk through. (Mat Kearney) 

I'll be honest: I wasn't going to write about this. But you know what? It was probably the day that affected me the most; when I think about Africa, odds are I am thinking about this day. And it was one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. There's no way I will be able to convey what it was like no matter how many words I use, so I'm not exaggerating at all. No color commentary here. And it's long. Be aware.

One of the last days we were in Africa, we went to a babies orphanage. We had been to a couple before this and had a lot of fun with the babies, so we were looking forward to it. 

We got off of our bus and went inside and there were dozens of toddlers playing in a little gazebo-type area. As we were starting to pick them up and play with them, we realized that this orphanage was not like any of the ones we had been to before. Most of the facilities were nicer and the children were being well taken care of. These kids were different. They had cloth diapers, but no diaper pins. Not a big deal, until after you put the child down and you realize you are wet. And looking around I was horrified to discover that ALL of the kids were soaked through and many had brown stains on their bottoms.

At this orphanage, they changed diapers twice a day. And as the day went on, these little toddlers would get so disgusted at sitting in their own feces that they would just pull the diapers out and throw them on the floor. It was disgusting, but you can't just deny them love and attention because they ended up in the crappy orphanage. And you couldn't help but hold them. As soon as you were in sight, they ran toward you and clung to you. They were so starved of attention that they didn't care if you looked at them or played with them, they just wanted to sit on your lap. They just wanted human contact. And if you did play with them and make them laugh, they were in heaven. Unfortunately, we were unable to take pictures there, so I can't show you anything, but there are 3 faces I will never forget.

For a long time I held a little girl named Angela. She was maybe 18 months. We played for a little while, she had a beautiful smile, and after about 15 minutes, she fell asleep in my lap. But she wasn't just sitting in my lap - her legs were wrapped around my legs and she was holding my arms like she didn't want to let go. She, like all of the other kids, screamed when they had to go in for lunch because that meant that we couldn't hold them. They would rather sit in someone's lap than eat.

A little later, I held a little baby boy named Joshua. He was probably just a few months old. His eyes were huge and gorgeous and he was so cuddly. I almost cried when I had to take him back to his crib inside the urine-smelling building.

And here's the worst part...

While we were there, a young couple brought in a baby boy. They said they found him in the bush. So the worker people undressed him and laid him down totally naked to check him out. The couple, I have reason to believe they were the parents just trying to detach themselves by saying they found him, sat all the way across the room. They wouldn't even look at him. So finally the doctor comes to check him out, and it turns out he was a little sick. So while the one guy tries to feed him a bottle, a lady tells the couple that they can't take him. They don't have enough beds and they can't afford it. 

The couple talked to the worker people for a while, discussing their options...they had said they were just going to take him back to the bush then because they couldn't afford to keep him. And this baby is just laying on this table, totally naked, staring at his parents, screaming. It about killed me. It was like he knew what was happening, knew that no one wanted him. What did this baby do? Why does he deserve this? Why does he have no one to love him? If it were legal, I would have picked him up and brought him home with me. And to be honest, I feel a little guilty for not trying to anyway.

Eventually, the workers talked the couple into taking him to a different orphanage. And as they walked out they looked so disappointed that they had this burden of a child back on their hands. My heart just burns when I think about it. I am thankful that this was one of the last days, and really the last highly emotional thing we did. I don't think I could have taken much more. 

Here is an exact excerpt from my journal from that day:

"I am so overwhelmed by all of the things I have seen. I've taken in so much, I feel like I'm going to burst. I wasn't really prepared for this. At all. And I'm leaving this country the day after tomorrow to go home to a family who loves me and a life where I have all of the necessities of life and most everything that I want to have. And the country I'm leaving is packed completely full of people who are starving, homeless, and unloved. People who don't even know that some of the stuff I have even exists. It's like a whole different world. I guess there is a reason they call it a 'third-world country'. I think I'm scared that when I go home this will all become unreal to me again. It feels unreal to me now, and I'm still here."

I dream about that little unnamed baby boy, laying on that table screaming, staring. I'm not as depressed about it as I originally was...now I am just prominently aware at how I'm not okay that things like this happen. It's my motivation to keep going with school and work so that someday I can go back, and possibly someday I will be able to legally bring one back with me. 

So there you go. I don't think you'd actually get it unless you were actually there...but that's the gist. 

F.A.Q.s and random venting

Just because everyone is asking me the same questions...

(I don't mind answering...this might even be just for me to have it in writing.) Not everything has to do with Africa, but that's okay. Right? Here we go:

Q: Kaitlin, how's school?

A: Well, since being gone I am basically doing three classes in four weeks. If I don't die in the next four weeks, then I'll graduate (in March) with my associate's degree in business administration. I was going to enroll at UNO after I was done in March to get a degree in Studio Art or Early Childhood Education, however I now realize that I hate school. No really. I loathe it with every fiber of my existence and think it is a waste of my time. Maybe at some point in the future I will feel differently and go back, but not anytime soon.

Q: So, what are you going to do when you graduate?

A: Um...take a nap.

Q: No, really?

A: I have never really been able to pinpoint a "this is what I want to be when I grow up." So, I started a list of possibilities and am going to try for all of them. Apply for everything I've ever wanted to do and see what happens.

Q: What's on the list?

A: -flight attendant (get paid to travel...where do I sign?!)

-nanny (in Omaha or east coast or London)

-work at an art gallery in New York or Chicago

-I want to write. A book. I have ideas...

-I want to paint. I (surprisingly) sold a bunch on ebay when I was fundraising. But then I
ran out of paintings. And time. So I'm wondering what would happen if I actually tried.

-Event planning. Show off my scheduling and scary-super organizational skillz. Waiting for Jenn to graduate...

-I might stick around at the church if I can be doing something else. I still need to ask. Or not ask. I keep going back and forth if I want to work there anymore or not. And even if I do, I'm totally unqualified for what I would like to be doing there. So probably not going to happen unless I get crazy and actually talk to them. Eh...

-And no matter what, I want to go back to Africa. Either live in an orphanage taking care of the babies, or live in a small village with the people, helping them get on their feet -- one village at a time. I'd love to lead a missions trip there doing that...anyone in?

Q: How are you feeling now that you're back from Africa? You seem a little down.

A:
Well, duh. It's a third-world country. What'd you expect?

=) Ha-I'm just playing. But really - I'm getting there. It's hard to come back from something like that and not feel helpless. To come back to a life where I am in contact with people who get a $5 cup of coffee every day of the week and people who tithe more in one week than a lot of the people I met in Africa make in a year - I can't just come back and not feel a little bit bad about it. This is totally hypocritical of me to say, but it strikes a nerve when I see people throwing money around (Do you know how many African kids that would feed?), when I see a child be disrespectful of their parents (There are so many kids in Africa who would do anything just to have parents), when I overhear political conversations (Talking about the candidates and the issues isn't changing anything. And with the two minutes you intend to put into the conversation, you're not going to convince anyone. It just makes you sound like you want to sound smart. Which aggravates the living crap out of me. And that has nothing to do with being in Africa. It just bugs me.)

I saw and heard a lot of stuff that I'm not okay with. But it's kind of comparable to mourning when someone dies. A person needs to take the time to be sad and to be angry and to be NOT okay with what happened. And then once you're past that, you can figure out how to grow, both internally (how it's going to affect me and my everyday life) and externally (what I'm going to do about it). I've been back less than two weeks...I'm guessing about a month and I should be over the whole not sleeping/no appetite thing. Let's not make ourselves sick with worry. (coughMomcough) =) And I'm hoping to debrief with someone very soon, so there ya go.

If you have any other questions, feel free to post them. From the comments that have been posted, you'd think no one reads this. If I didn't like writing so much, and if I didn't know that there are a bunch of people reading this, there would be little motivation to keep posting. Don't feel like you have to comment now...I'm just saying.

I think I'll post another story from the actual trip next time. (Not going to happen daily. 3 whole classes in 4 short weeks. But I will try!!)

Love, Kaitie

Lists and Pictures

(above) This is at the Mulago hospital.

This was the orphanage/village we went to in the Invisible Children post. No, I didn't just catch her in a daze. They just looked like that.

Same place. This is them excited about the toys we gave them. Yeah. Excited. This is one of those times I wondered what I was really doing there. Eventually we got them up and talking and having some fun. (You might notice how muscular that little girl's arm is. Kids don't get to be kids in Africa--and that goes for orphans and kids with parents. They work. Hard. We saw one kid carrying two water jugs--huge water jugs I don't think I could have lifted with both arms. And I'm no wimp.)

On trips like these, if you don't create reasons to laugh, you will be depressed the whole time. So the three "Chicago girls" (we flew into London from Chicago) de-stressed ourselves by making lists about various things...here are a few of them:

Not recommended for consumption in Africa:

1) Rice crisps. Look like Pringles. Taste like cardboard.

2) Chips Ahoy. Packaged like Chips Ahoy. Taste like ??

3) Doritoes. Never again.

4) Coca Cola candy. They do get better the longer you suck on them. Or they just kill your taste buds...

5) Meat.

6) Milkshakes. I'm just going to say "powde

red milk" and leave the rest to the imagination.

7) Meat. I know it's on here twice. I just feel the need to reiterate. 

8) ketchup. don't be fooled by the red color...I don't believe it's made from tomatoes...

Sounds of Africa:

1) military men. Every morning we'd hear them working out.

2) cows mooing. random times. in the city, out of the city...always. cows.

3) roosters crowing. not even just in the morning.

4) Muslim call to prayer. Every morning at 5 am, there is a man

billowing out on a loudspeaker throughout  the city to remind all the Muslims to pray. Not really a good tool for converting people. And somedays, it would last a really long time. Or they just kept doing it over and over.

5) Our leader, Sherry, banging on our wall to wake us up. "CHICAGO GIRLS!" 

6) animal fights. I think a cat died right outside our window early one morning. it was scary.

7) the stupid clock outside our room. LOUD TICKING. and it didn't chime every hour, there was just a loud clunk.

8) Disney birds. You know how in Disney movies, the bird sound effects seem a little overdone? I think they just put a microphone next to Africa. It really does sound like that sometimes. (Outside the city.)

Yeah, those are probably the only two lists that are appropriate to broadcast to the whole world. The other ones probably 

aren't very nice :) Hey-we had some rough days...we had to vent somehow...

And just because I don't remember this at all but it turned up on my camera and it makes me laugh--

Me getting distracted by Jenny and my eye mask when I was supposed to be packing...

More to come later...once I  get them uploaded...