Ugh..

I worked at all three jobs today.

I think that's all I really need to say about that.

So...I was working at the church today and I had to show the new office manager some of the stuff that I do...and I struggled to not cry. Somehow I got very attached to my choir folders...

...Somehow I got very attached to that job. I didn't think it was going to be hard for me to leave for some reason. But it is. I've been there for about a year and a half. About the same time, I quit going to school at Creighton and moved to Lincoln because I didn't really have anywhere else to go, and believe it or not, I commuted for an hour each way to work at the church for 10 hours a week. For about a month, that job was really the only thing I had going for me. I actually lost money to work there, because gas is not cheap and I didn't have my fuel-efficient car yet.

And then when I got fired by the crazy lady that I'm not bitter about at all...literally, right after...I went to the church because it was safe and comfortable. And I am pretty sure I vented to Deb for a while.

Which is another thing--I've seen THREE office managers. AND I've been there longer than half the staff. (There's only like, nine, but still...)

And in the last year or so, I've kind of become fond of the people there. I know that the family that I'm nannying for is amazing (their old nanny cries every time she talks about leaving) and it's actually going to challenge me (as opposed to checking my email for 5 out of the 6 hours I'm there) and it's just going to be great. 

But then...I'm leaving a really amazing family too, a few of whom I really trust. I'm not one to trust easily. It took these people about a year and half for me to realize that I trust them. I'm still going to be attending church on Sundays, but it's soooo not the same. And if I'm being honest...that scares the living crap out of me. 

So there ya go...I'm having second thoughts. Not really--it couldn't be more obvious to me that I'm not supposed to be working there anymore, and I'm supposed to be exactly where I'm going. And I've never been okay with the fact that I sit around and don't really do anything very significant. But I don't want to go. Not one bit. Tomorrow (Thursday) is my last day...I'm there for three hours...and then I'm gone. And I'm crying now...already. I'm such a girl...

Brilliant idea: maybe tomorrow I'll post another Africa story. Since that was the purpose of this anyway. And since I've started blogging, I haven't journaled as much, which I don't really like. So be excited...Africa tomorrow. (Or at least the next time I post.)

-K