For Those Who Care

I'm staying in Omaha.

I'm moving into the Boyd's basement.

I have job interviews for some 9-5ers.

I might go to school.

For journalism.

I might not. 

I don't know how long this will last.

I still am planning on living in San Diego in January with Jenny.

That is all. I think. 

I worked 71 hours this week. I'm kind of past the point of thinking.

I Like This Song

"Incomplete"

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
And never done

One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid 
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Random

So I've been running lots of errands lately, spending a lot of time in my car, in parking lots, and with various store clerks. Here are the thoughts that have drizzled my brain...

1) Why do clerks always feel the need to talk to me about my life? I never ever did. Not that I don't care about people, cuz I do. I just don't find it necessary. I'm not much for small talk I guess.

2) ALWAYS park close to a cart coral. Various reasons, including: not having to walk all the way across the parking lot to put your cart away, narrows down the number of spaces you could have possibly parked in. I don't know how many times I have lost my car in a parking lot. This one time around Christmas, I was at Westroads and I was walking around trying to find my car and this SUV was following me the whole time. Finally, she rolled down her window and asked if I was going to my car and could she have my space. I said, "sure, as soon as I find it..." But I've gotten lost in parking lots enough times that it wasn't even too embarrassing.

3) I am a good driver. As long as you look at the number of times I've avoided an accident and not the number of times I've almost caused one.

4) The only songs on the radio are "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis, "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay, and "I Kissed a Girl" by Katie Perry. Therefore, I change the station every third song.

5) In the car with the radio off is a great place to think. It was in the car that I though of (a)some good ideas for the book that my sister and I are writing, including character names and a very important piece of the plot. I cannot divulge that information, however, so you will just have to wait until it is published. It is also when I came up with (b)several different scenarios that will lead the direction of my own life story. I will not divulge that information until I have a set plan. Sorry.

6) When I'm in a hurry, there is always a slow semi in front of me. Always. When I'm not in a hurry, there's no one else on the road and I get there early. Always.

Okay...time to continue the packing process. (That gives a little teaser to #5(b). But the real question is...where am I moving?? If you know the answer, fill me in please!) Haha

Genius

I just took an online IQ test, which probably isn't reliable, but nonetheless--I scored a 134 and feel the need to gloat a little tiny bit.

If only there was a space for that on job applications...

Art for Sale

Okay...the first of I'm sure many "for sale" posts. I'm purging my apartment and packing (even though I don't know exactly where I'm going yet) so I'm getting rid of stuff. The way it will work is, you email me to let me know what you want and how much you want to pay for it. It goes to the first reasonable offer. Lowest price I'd accept is in parentheses. If you need my email address, then comment on this, otherwise, please email.

Here it goes...

#1 - Multi-canvas Piece. 9 total canvases. (24x30; 14x14; 30x9  3/4; 12x12; 2 1/2x3 1/2; 10x10; 2-3x3; 10x8) You would need approx. wall space of 60" x 40". I used a label maker to write out the first 2 verses of the Kelly Clarkson song "Sober" on red and orange label tape. Completed 2008. ($75)

#2  The sketch that inspired #1. 8x4 3/4. Pencil on sketch paper. ($1 :) Unsigned.

#3 American Flag Drawing. Completed my junior year of high school (2/2004) and won me some pretty sweet ribbons. Ha. 11x16, pencil on paper. It's the American Flag with some dried roses on top. It took me forever...cross-hatch technique. Glare is from the plastic, which can be removed. It's not that good...($10)

#4 "Angrilily". This one actually has a title. Did it when I was mad about something. Took 10 minutes, but it's one of the few that I actually like. 16x20 acrylic on canvas. Completed 9/2007 ($20)

I'm getting really bored of doing this, so I'll do more later. 

Rachel the Roommate

My roommate, Rachel, almost cut her finger off today. She was de-pitting an avocado with a blunt knife while holding it in her hand, and apparently forgot that her last name isn't "Ray", so she chopped herself. And I'm only saying that because she said it first. But I think it hurt worse than she was letting on. I almost fainted.

By the way...doors in Lincoln are closing. Doors in Omaha are opening. You do the math. I still don't know...but I'm leaning. 

Leaning into an open door probably isn't smart...

Fortune Cookie

So if I was having second thoughts about moving to Lincoln, I wouldn't be anymore because I just happened to get a relevant fortune in my last fortune cookie.

"You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily."

Yeah. I know. Freaky.

And it is true, if you think about it. It's even true if you don't think about it. But I'm going to force you to think about it by continuing the thought, and because I'm such a great writer, you won't be able to stop reading here  and you'll follow me.

How can you really get good and settled unless you've been unsettled first? How do you know if something is right unless you've had some wrongs? Hm?

Yeah. Relevant.

Completely unrelated--as I'm looking at the stuff I have to pack, I have some paintings that I need to sell. Interested? I can send pics. I also have a ton of blank canvases that I wouldn't mind not packing if you have any requests. I love requests.

I'm playing soccer mom all week. Literally. I hate it. I hate soccer and I hate keeping 4 kids outside for 3 hours and then home to take naps so they can get up for something else by 4:30. Doesn't really work very well. I totally crashed today. Okay...venting over. I wonder if they read this. I wonder if I care. 

Nope.

:)

I love dreams. Last night I had the best one ever. I don't remember a lot of the details, but it makes me happy every time I think about it. 

Two of my good friends and I were at a bank. Only it wasn't really a bank--you know how dreams are: you say something is something, but it looks nothing like it--and we found out that there was going to be a robbery because we were being all CSI-like...doing some investigating. So we set up this plan where we would be taken hostage and then we make the robber think we were on her side and then overtake her. There was a lot more to it, but I was really sad when I woke up. I like how I'm smart in my dreams...

Except the whole sugar-free escalator thing...that's a result of working too many hours at the coffee shop.

Latest obsession: type "So You Think You Can Dance Bleeding Love" into YouTube and watch Chelsie and Mark. Wow. Chills. 

Favorite song of the week: "Dancing" by Elisa.

I don't even like to dance.

This post is...how do you say...RANDOM.

I need a job in Lincoln.

Knot Know

Geez Kaitlin...learn how to say no.

I was totally going to vent about how I'm going to be staying at my job for SIX weeks instead of the FOUR weeks notice I oh-so-generously gave them, but then I realized that in that opening sentence I actually wrote: "Geez Kaitlin...learn how to say know". Does that imply that I'm telling myself that I'm dumb? Like, I don't know how to say "know", so obviously I must not "know" anything.

MAN-I should leave a post up here without editing it. I just really like the letter "k" tonight. I just wrote that I must "knot" "know" anything.

That, my friends, is how frustrated I am. I do knot no anything.

I'ma quit whilst I am...ahead?

Hmph

I gave my notice today. And I cried the whole way home. More attached than I thought.

It doesn't help that they were gone all of last week so the kids kept telling me they missed me. The 3-year-old was so determined to "be good for [me] the whole day" that he put on his own socks. It took him 20 minutes and the heels were on top, but it was sooo cute.

Anyway...that's all I have to say right now. If I wasn't so sure about this move, I'd be second-guessing it. And to be clear--it's not the job. It's the fact that all my friends are in Lincoln, I have family in Lincoln, cost of living is less, I'll be making more...living in Omaha just doesn't make much sense anymore. That's all. August 1 is my last day of work. I'm sure I'll be rather emotional up until then. If they weren't such NICE people and such CUTE kids...

What I Learned on My Summer Vacation

I had a whole week off from nannying. I filled it with plans to see friends and family, as well as picking up some shifts at Scooters. The first real summer vacation I've had for a few years. So...here's what I learned:

1) I get bored really easily.

2) When I watch a movie by myself, it is either "Breakfast at Tiffany's", "Finding Neverland", or "Steal Magnolias". Everything else requires company.

3) I invest way to much time into my job. Five 12-hour days a week are devoted to a family I only met a couple months ago. That's 60 hours a week, from the time I leave my house to the time I get home. To do it long-term would be unrealistic.

4) I am happiest when I've had at least a couple of hours of good, quality alone time. Just me, Dr. Pepper, and Harry Potter.

5) It doesn't matter how many lists I make, my day never goes according to plan.

6) When someone (like a landlord) doesn't meet my expectations, I get mean. And words just sort of fall out of my mouth...

7) I miss living in the same town as my close friends.

8) I miss working in an office.

9) I do not agree with the lifestyle of having lots of children and expecting someone else to dedicate half of their day to raising them. They mistakenly call me "mom" way too often. Therefore, I am not comfortable with the job that I hold and need to find something new.

10) Omaha is no longer the right place for me to be. It doesn't make sense and I'm not happy. So I'm moving to Lincoln the first weekend of August. Thus begins my having to give the good ol' 2-weeks notice. And job interviews in Lincoln.

I'm psyched.

Neighbors

The following is an absolutely true story. I can't make  this stuff up, folks.

Last Friday, as you all probably know, there was a crazy storm in Omaha. About five minutes before it got really bad, the sirens went off. I looked outside and it was completely calm, so Rachel and I kept the TV on, but didn't think much of it. (We've never gone in the basement for a storm before. I'm usually out on the deck taking pictures of lightening.)

Anyway, about five minutes later, we look outside and it was just scary looking.  The tree in our parking lot was pretty much horizontal. So we decide, "Hey...don't really feel like risking death today. Let's check out the party in the basement."

Before I go further, I should explain that our apartment building consists of us, and about a dozen elderly, old, retired ladies.

We get downstairs  and there are the two ladies that live directly across the hall from us. They are the Chandler and Joey to our Rachel and Monica. (Friends? Anyone?) The one lady says, "Oh, are you our neighbors? Nice to meet you." (We meet her every day.) And then...this might be too much for some of you...it was too much for me...she said, "I didn't have time  to put on a bra."

Rachel and I immediately looked away from her and stared at each other, not even knowing what facial expressions we should have. So for  the next ten minutes, Rachel and I are on one end of the hallway, and everyone else is at the other end.

And then the lights go off. The rest of this would make a great scene in a movie. A HORROR movie.

The bra neighbor comes back over and stands by us for a second and says, "I can't see my shoes." I don't know if she didn't have them on and couldn't find them or if it was just so dark she couldn't see them...but she stood there for a while staring  at  us. In a dark, dank hallway. It doesn't sound scary, I know, but YOU WEREN'T THERE!

Needless to say...we went back upstairs. I'd rather be sucked into a tornado than be trapped in a hallway with scary elderly folk.