My Future

So for quite a long time, I have been contemplating what I really want to do. Obviously, I don' want to be a nanny for the rest of my life. And I don't enjoy living without any goals. So without further ado, here's what sounds good for right now and the story of how I got there.

My sister says I am a do-gooder. That is true, so I asked myself why. For one thing, I am overly empathetic. When someone else's heart hurts, mine does too. Not something I am doing myself, I was just born that way.

So I care about people's hearts. Not just when they hurt, but all the time. I don't feel like I know someone until I know where their heart is. That's why I like kids so much. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and they tell you exactly what they're thinking. But unfortunately, that is unacceptable as an adult, so there's guesswork involved...but I digress.

I want to help people's hearts. If I go back to school, I promised myself two things: 1) I have to know exactly what I want to do, and focus on it. 2) It has to lead to an occupation that will make paying off my (so far) $70,000 in loans plus whatever else I rack up. Also, I DO NOT want to be in school right now. 

So I have come to the conclusion that if I am not married or close to it by August of the year I'm 25, I am going back to school...medical school. To be a cardiovascular surgeon. I want to fix people's hearts without hurting my own. I know not every patient will make it, but I'm hoping I'm good at it and the odds won't be against me... And I think I could be good at it. I have pretty steady hands from being an artist. I don't get queasy from blood anymore...

Whatcha think?

Work and Illness

Today was a good day. That's not really saying much...I didn't do a whole lot...

So yesterday I went home from work not feeling too hot. Then when I got to their house today, the mom asked how I was feeling and I was still not too hot. So she took the boys to the zoo and I stayed home with the baby all day. I don't think she realizes how much I appreciated that. Hands down the best family to work for.

PLUS-the 4-year-old who has previously asked me why I keep coming back to their house and would I just go away told me he loved me today. And he had to give me a hug before he took his nap. I think it's because I played catch with him outside and kept catching the ball with my bare hand and not the glove, which he thought was cool. And we've been building paper airplanes on days when we don't have too many problems. Yes, it's bribery. But it works.

FYI, I'm feeling a ton better now. I was just really really congested and then today had tons of pressure in my head--so much so that my ears kept popping. Reealllly annoying and made me (even more) uncoordinated. But not "sick" sick...nothing involuntarily coming out of me or anything, so nothing to worry about (mom). =) And with that mental picture for you...goodnight!!

PS--To the girls from Lincoln coming to my apartment on Saturday--I'm sooooooo excited for the painting party!!! I said it on my blog, so it must be true.

PPS--It seems like a lot of the books I've read lately have come from authors who got their start from being discovered on their blog. *Fingers crossed* Obviously, not Toni Morrison, but others. (I'm still in disbelief from the Borders chick, by the way. How did she get through high school?)

Lost Dialogue

Kaitlin: I am looking for a book and I can't seem to find it.

Borders employee (BE): Sure, what are you looking for?

Kaitlin: Toni Morrison 

BE: Um, is that the title or the author or what? 

Kaitlin (growing skeptical of why she is working at a bookstore): Uh...author. 

BE: (types "Tony Morrisen") 

Kaitlin: I think it's spelled with an "i" and the last name is "...son". 

BE: Oh. (retypes) Is it his latest book? 

Kaitlin: (growing skepticism) No, it's not her latest. It's called "Sula". 

BE: (starts leading me to the gay/lesbian section) 

Kaitlin: I doubt it's here. She's a pretty well-known African American author. 

BE: Oh, is it in classic literature then? 

Kaitlin: (past the point of tolerance) You're the one who works here... (I spot the African American Literature section) Looks like the section it'd be in is right over there. Thanks for your help.  

Now, don't take me as a book-snob. I don't expect everyone to know who Toni Morrison is, but for Pete's sake, if you work at a book store, you should at least be aware of the standards! It's like working at a music store and not knowing what a guitar is used for...ugh.

Invisible Children

Okay, so this is kind of about Africa. And FYI, I am listening to the string quartet version of "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. =)

I know that I already ended the job hunt with this nannying job. And the nannying job is going so-so. It's getting better everyday. I am still in the stage of dreading getting there after my 35-minute drive, but once I'm there I'm fine.

Today the 4-year old told me he didn't like me and wasn't going to do anything I told him to do. So I told him that it's okay that  he doesn't like me, it's okay that he feels like that, but I liked him very much and it hurts my feelings when he says that, and he is not allowed to say mean things that hurt people's feelings. And then I told him that if he continued with the attitude, I'd squeeze the dishsoap in his mouth. And guess what? He didn't get soap in his mouth.

That might sound harsh, but if I'm going to be there long-term, he is not going to talk to me like that and he's going to learn to respect me. But that's really the only problem I've really encountered. The 5-year-old seems to be warming up to me fairly well, even though he was the one I was warned would have the hardest time. And the other two are too little to realize what's going on.

However, there is a chance I will not be there long-term. A fairly good-sized chance, actually. There's this job that I really want. It's the Executive Assistant to the CEO of Invisible Children. I am highly unqualified, have no real experience in a fast-paced business environment, and the job is in San Diego, but in my letter of intent, I will include a sentence something along the lines of "I dare you to find someone who will do a better job than me." There's more to go with that, but I'm just banking on the fact that they are big into creativity and aren't really a

 conventional "business-place", so hopefully they can overlook that and see that I would do a good job. And it's Invisible Children...can we say "dream job"??

And you know, even if that doesn't happen, I am thinking that in January, I will move to either San Diego or Chicago. And I have a business degree...I shouldn't have too hard of a time finding a job, even if it's not my dream job. I need a new city. One with a bigger art scene. So there ya go.

This is the Invisible Children Bracelet Campaign Headquarters in Uganda. That pile of black things are the bracelets that they make. It's an incredible idea creating jobs for the people there, and awareness for the people here. Want one, or want to learn more about the bracelet campaign? Click here.

Spider Saga Update

FYI - I sprayed it with Raid. It ran. I slept on the futon even though there was no way it stood a chance.

Rachel came and vacuumed up its dead carcass when got home. I screamed when I saw it (yes, it was dead)...

So there you go. End of story. 

The first one is taken from about 5 feet away (the closest I got) with super zoom. The second one Rach took when she finally found it. eck--I shudder every time I look at these pictures. Sick.

Just wanted to prove it was real. 

I have to get up in 4.5 hours. I worked for 12 hours today cuz I stayed late. I'm so tired I can't sleep. I've never gotten gas at 5am before...new adventure every day. Rambling...as I sit here listening to Paramore as a string quartet. Slightly obsessed.

What?!?!

I just want you all to know that I just discovered string quartet versions of most of my favorite songs. How incredible is that? I am freaking out here...

Okay, not really...but if I ever get married, I'm totally walking down the aisle to the string quartet version of Alicia Keys "No One". You know you want to be there. And that makes more sense than the string quartet version of Carrie Underwood "Before He Cheats" or string quartet Guns 'N Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine"...yeah. Plain White T's "Hey There, Delilah"...they have it. "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers. Everything by Switchfoot and Kelly Clarkson. No Lifehouse, but that would be asking way too much.

My life is complete. I am stoked.

Along Came a Spider

Once again...not about Africa.

As I sit here typing this, there is a spider sitting about 10 feet away from me, staring me in the face. 

If you don't know me, you don't know that my biggest fear of all time is spiders. It's pathetic. The last time I was alone in my apartment with a spider, I stayed the night at a hotel. Seriously.

The wispy ones, I can usually deal with. After a couple hours of pep talks from all the friends that I typically call to talk me through it, I can spray it with my Raid (which was an apartment warming gift from my mom) and then vacuum it up with the expanded hose and the tool that makes it a little longer.

But the spider currently taunting me is an evil, devil-looking solid spider. It's not huge, but it's not small. And if I spray it with Raid, it will move. If there's one thing that I hate worse than spiders, it's spiders that are moving. 

I guess I could just go straight for the vacuum. Except, then it could survive the suction and still be alive inside the vacuum and I can't live in the same place as that. And I'd probably drop the hose and freak out anyway, which would cause the spider to move.

None of my Omaha friends are actually in Omaha right now. And it's 11pm, so I really can't call any of my acquaintances. See, one of the (many) perks of having a roommate has been that she kills the bugs for me. But she's not here...

I just called my best friend Jenny in Lincoln. I told her there was a spider in my bedroom. And she proved once again that there is a reason she is my best friend. She took me totally seriously and said that I should get everything I need out of my bedroom and then put pillows under the crack in the door and sleep on the couch. We talked about the possibility of me putting a tupperware on top of it until my friend Josh comes back tomorrow, but she pointed out that I would never be able to get that close. I'm screwed.

I think it just moved.

And what makes the situation more crappy: I was painting when I saw it, and in the .0004 seconds I went from sitting on the floor to standing ten feet away, I dropped my paintbrush. 1) Stained the carpet. 2) Ruined a perfectly good paintbrush cuz the paint's gonna dry before I can get that close to it again 3) Ruined a perfectly good canvas cuz I wasn't finished with what I was doing and once it dries, it will never blend the same.

Sooo...if anyone reading this happens to be from the Omaha area and wouldn't mind a phone call from a crying Kaitlin in the middle of the night asking you to come kill a spider, please let me know. And don't be surprised when I take you up on it.

I hate spiders.