Pants on Fire

This is not about Africa. I have to dig out my journal for that and I'm far too tired. 5:30 is early in the morning.

Just a quick thought: transitions are hard. It's like an infinite line of dominoes and you push the middle two in opposite directions. Don't know where to look. But then again...sure, the middle two are falling apart; but all the other ones are falling together. So really, when it feels like things are falling apart, it's just that other things are falling together. Right? Always another domino ready to catch the previous one...

That was deep. Blows my mind.

But today was good. The 4-year-old hit me, so I made him put his nose in the corner. An hour later, he told me he loved me. Kids are great.

Hardest job I've ever had. But I think I'll like it.

That is all. I'll work on the Africa post for next time. Promise.

Kaitie

Ugh..

I worked at all three jobs today.

I think that's all I really need to say about that.

So...I was working at the church today and I had to show the new office manager some of the stuff that I do...and I struggled to not cry. Somehow I got very attached to my choir folders...

...Somehow I got very attached to that job. I didn't think it was going to be hard for me to leave for some reason. But it is. I've been there for about a year and a half. About the same time, I quit going to school at Creighton and moved to Lincoln because I didn't really have anywhere else to go, and believe it or not, I commuted for an hour each way to work at the church for 10 hours a week. For about a month, that job was really the only thing I had going for me. I actually lost money to work there, because gas is not cheap and I didn't have my fuel-efficient car yet.

And then when I got fired by the crazy lady that I'm not bitter about at all...literally, right after...I went to the church because it was safe and comfortable. And I am pretty sure I vented to Deb for a while.

Which is another thing--I've seen THREE office managers. AND I've been there longer than half the staff. (There's only like, nine, but still...)

And in the last year or so, I've kind of become fond of the people there. I know that the family that I'm nannying for is amazing (their old nanny cries every time she talks about leaving) and it's actually going to challenge me (as opposed to checking my email for 5 out of the 6 hours I'm there) and it's just going to be great. 

But then...I'm leaving a really amazing family too, a few of whom I really trust. I'm not one to trust easily. It took these people about a year and half for me to realize that I trust them. I'm still going to be attending church on Sundays, but it's soooo not the same. And if I'm being honest...that scares the living crap out of me. 

So there ya go...I'm having second thoughts. Not really--it couldn't be more obvious to me that I'm not supposed to be working there anymore, and I'm supposed to be exactly where I'm going. And I've never been okay with the fact that I sit around and don't really do anything very significant. But I don't want to go. Not one bit. Tomorrow (Thursday) is my last day...I'm there for three hours...and then I'm gone. And I'm crying now...already. I'm such a girl...

Brilliant idea: maybe tomorrow I'll post another Africa story. Since that was the purpose of this anyway. And since I've started blogging, I haven't journaled as much, which I don't really like. So be excited...Africa tomorrow. (Or at least the next time I post.)

-K

Speak to Me

I think I have given more speeches in the last month than I have spoken in my whole life.

The school ones really stunk to give, but the church one(s) today went pretty well...I think...? I wasn't in the audience, but from my angle, it went alright.

Anyway...sleep...

Tired and Crabby

So...

Basically...

I have 3 jobs right now.

A week and a half, and it'll just be the one.

But right now, 3.

Sick.

Speaking of which, my best friend Jenny is in the hospital in Omaha. She has Crohn's disease, which is so rare that the spell checker on here doesn't even know that it's a real word. Anyway, it is causing her a lot of pain and it's very very frustrating because there's no cure. So, I'm offering a $1 million dollar reward for the first person who finds a cure. It will be paid in increments of $1/month for the next 83,334 years. So let's just pray that happens. (A cure, that is. Not 83,334 years.)

Goodnight.

Kaitie

Who's Your Nanny

So basically, it went like this...

The wife of the youth pastor at my church called me up a couple days after I asked them to write me a reference letter for a job as a nanny. She said, "Kaitlin, I have this silver platter that happens to hold a really good job you have interest in with a really awesome family. Let me give it to you, along with a reference from me and my parents who this family has a lot of respect for." And I said, "Well, I don't know...let me think about it." 

(Okay, so I paraphrased a tad. But it was something like that. Except my response was something more along the lines of "SERIOUSLY? THAT'S SO AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH!" And can I just say for the record: I kind of really like God. A lot.)

I talked with the mom of the family on the phone a few times. Then on Saturday I went to their house to meet them and their adorable children.

Tonight, she called me and said they'd love to give me a try. =) Considering I have no nannying experience, that's pretty sweet. And way too easy. 

Job search: done. Hooray!

But...now I have to work up the nerve to give my two-weeks notice at two different jobs. At the one job, the people I have to talk to are probably the most intimidating personalities for my personality-type (read: they're confident. I'm not.) And at the other job, she's just going to hate me because we're so short staffed and I'm one of the reliable ones...and she's probably going to ask if I can still work weekends. And let's all say it together: Kaitlin can't say no. Kaitlin is a pushover. SO, I will still have two jobs and I will be working 7 days a week. But at least I'll actually be DOING something...

I'm excited. I forget how much I like change. And I have had pretty much the same schedule for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time:

7am-10am coffee shop

11am-5pm church

5:30pm-10:05pm school (3 days a week)

Yeah. Sick. But SO over. Ha.

And the funny thing is, after making every single important decision that has had any impact on the direction my life has gone compeletely, 100% on impulse, I told myself that this time I was going to take my time. I haven't even finished the exit paperwork for school yet, and I already have a long-term, full-time job. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me, but I really do have a good feeling. Maybe being impulsive is actually a good trait.

Alright...well now I need to try to get some words on paper about my trip to Africa so I can tell everyone at the church about it on Easter Sunday at all three services. I'm not nervous at all...hundreds, possibly thousands of people are going to hear me talk...haha. Actually, if I can make up a speech about how the economy and Apple Inc. affect each other with reference to the annual report that I only just skimmed, I should be able to read off of a piece of paper about something I actually care about. I just can't get the words onto the paper...

...it's like catching fireflies in a jar...you get one, but a couple that you've already caught fly out...

Okay, so no...it's not really like that. I've just got writer's block. By the length of this blog, you'd have no idea.

Speaking of this blog--I have been totally caught of guard many times this week by people who have asked me about something I haven't told them about, but they've read it on here. I'm sorry if this has happened to you...it just startles me. I kind of feel like a celebrity. Only I'm writing my own tabloid. Hmm...that's deep. We'll end on that note.

How did I do it?

4 reasons I was able to COMPLETE EVERYTHING after procrastinating until there were 2 days left:

busy week...

While I procrastinate a little more...at 1:37am...

Thursday I went to Chicago with some friends. I got to hang out for quite a while with an amazing friend I met in Africa who just happens to live in Chicago. It was a great time and I am so thankful to have a friend who I connect with so well after knowing her just a short time. It was really really good. I was not ready to come home.

Then we went to a Missy Higgins concert. I don't expect you to know who that is, but I am still sad that you probably don't. Cuz you should know who that is. To summarize the concert in three sentences: best. concert. ever. =)

Friday I flew home and went to a Keith Urban/Carrie Underwood concert in Omaha. It was really good and I got to hang out with some more awesome friends.

Saturday I attempted to do homework. It did not go well. I have nothing else to say.

Sunday Rachel and I talked to the high schoolers at my church about our trip to Africa. I heard today that we did well. It was pretty cool.

Then we went to a Natalie Grant concert. I'm kind of a big fan of Natalie since senior year of high school. She's a Christian artist, for those who don't know. Anyway, it was cool to see her in concert.

Tonight I had a phone interview with the mom of a family I could potentially nanny for. I'll be going to their house sometime this weekend to meet them and their kids and just check it out. Tres cool. And I applied for tons of jobs today. All kinds of them in all different places. We'll see...

Tomorrow my 30-pager is due. Scary. I'm finishing it right now. Then early tomorrow morning I'll throw together the PowerPoint. And I'll totally improv the 20-minute oral presentation. Not like I haven't done it before---at least I'm going to class knowing there's an oral presentation...Anyway-that's at 4:30-5ish. Then I get to come home and research and write another paper that I haven't started yet. It's due Wednesday at noon. As well a couple chapters worth of homework and two article summaries. I'll be doing 3 oral presentations on Wednesday. At noon. That's a lot of talking for someone who probably doesn't say that many words in a typical day. Which probably explains why people are so surprised that I can whip out a 20 minute speech with no preparation. Someone told me once that I pack a punch. Don't really know what that means, but it's kinda cool.

Anyway, Wednesday at around 1-1:30 pm I'll be able to breathe again. I'm looking forward to it.

More Not-Original Thought...

Good song: "I Stand" by Idina Menzel.

I stand for the power to change.

I live for the perfect day.

I love till it hurts like crazy.

I hope for a hero to save me.

I stand for the strange and lonely.

I believe there's a better place.

I don't know if the sky is heaven, 

but I pray anyway.

perfection

my knee did not hurt today for about 2.57 minutes.

then I got out of bed because I realized I had to be to work at the coffeeshop in 15 minutes.

but it was nice. any longer and I would have taken it for granted. any shorter and I wouldn't have believed it.

perfection.

kaitlin-fact-of-the-day: i don't take compliments well. i can't think of much else that makes me more uncomfortable. except talking about myself. attention...i don't like attention. you might have already known that, but i just figured it out. there you go, that's it. nothing more to see, folks. move along. (stalling...homework...yuck...)